"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me ‘V.’"

V, from V for Vendetta

Ah, I am awfully amazed by the ample amount of alliteration applied in this address.

Whenever I’m struck by inspiration but fail to write it down, I feel like God just tapped me on the shoulder and I refused to shake his hand.

Misogynistic math.

"Esposas" is the Spanish word for both "wives" and "handcuffs"

Bachelor:	You know what's the longest sentence in the world?
Groom:	What?
Bachelor:	"I do."

Describe your life in one sentence or less.

To be determined.

“You fit into me” by Margaret Atwood

you fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

The juxtaposition of the “feminine” hobby of sewing and the more “masculine” sport of fishing to create an imagist metaphor for the brutal penetration of sexual intercourse.

She has officially become my favorite poet.

Convergence (?) and conversion

Guido Ubaldus, a 16th century Italian mathematician, thought that the calculations below proved the existence of God because “something has been created out of nothing.”

0 = 0 + 0 + 0 + …
   = (1 - 1) + (1 - 1) + (1 - 1) + …
   = 1 + (-1 + 1) + (-1 + 1) + (-1 + 1) + …
   = 1 + 0 + 0 + 0 + …
   = 1

He forgot to take into account the last term, which would be -1 and would cancel out the first 1. Besides, it’s a divergent series that approaches two, not one, finite values (+1 & -1).

But geometry was four years ago...

Jessica:	Ew! Look at the shape of those windows on that ugly car. They're like...bubble squares!
Christine:	You mean oblong?
Jessica:	Yeah, that's what I said.

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“Women sitting at a Café Terrace” by Maurice Branger

They make me happy.

"Race is a pigment of our imagination."

Ruben Rumbaut, UCI Professor

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Feeling like a specific target of the universe is probably a symptom of guilt.

(Source: 90sgrunge, via behindthefourthwall)

jjangeunbin:

twigg94:

michelleaneous-paraphernalia:

LOL

im using this next time..

Hehehe brilliant! :D

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“I see all this potential, and I see squandering…Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war … our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.”

~Tyler Durden, Fight Club (1999)

valswei:

thedailywhat:

Buttersafe.

Hahah so true.

(Source: thedailywhat)

Writing exercise (for a group): One person goes up to the board and write a one-line story starter. The other members then take turns continuing the story by adding one sentence at a time.

The only slightly revised and more-than-slighltly crackbrained collaborative effort on Thursday from the mentally unstable members of Writer’s Club (bold lines contributed by me):

Once upon a time there was a street thief named Eliah. But this story isn’t about him; it’s about me. I am a sentient hat named Jabber. Don’t be misled by the name—being a hat, I can’t actually speak a word. Though I could speak, once, before I died and became this magnificent hat. How did I die, you ask? Well, it all started when I fell in love with a street thief named Eliah.